Humor Resources - Serious Business

Resumes are autobiographical at their best and fiction at their worst. In the same category are cover letters and letters of introductions.

Now, I like fiction and autobiographies. Resumes are wonderful and everyone, yes everyone should have a resume and use it in the job search process. But if those responsible for hiring do not understand that these are fictional works, they will err greatly in the hiring process.

This is not to say that any resume is not totally honest as most of them are. Fiction does not equate to dishonesty. Louis L'Amour was a prolific fiction author. He meticulously researched his books and consequently the works are detailed and accurate, but they are still fiction.

Additionally, consider this example: When I purchased a new car I had to buy the oil separately and bring it to the dealership to be put into my motor before I got the keys to the car. With that statement one is left with a negative opinion of the dealership. Now consider this statement: While waiting for final detailing on my new car I happened to mention to the salesman that I would immediately replace the oil with synthetic oil. The salesman said they would do that free of charge but did not have synthetic oil on hand. I offered to quickly get it from the parts store and the salesman said they would be glad to put it in along with a new oil filter at no additional cost. This leaves a different and favorable impression. Both relate the same incident from different perspectives. If you were to ask the salesman, he would tell the story in yet another fashion. There is no deceit here.

Likewise resumes and such are meant to persuade. However, they are not predictors of behavior. From this document one cannot tell a persons integrity or emotional intelligence and resumes do not predict success on the job.

And for those readers who do not have hiring responsibilities but rather are, or may be, job seekers, I have a bit of advice. Develop a very good resume with professional guidance. You do not even have to pay for that guidance. An easy way is to find some arrogant know-it-all HR person (like this author) and ask for their advice. It is sad to say, but true, that a good resume will help you get the job. In fact, resumes, cover letters, and introduction letters (as well as phone calls) are the only tools I use to get a job. They are highly effective. And as good as I am with these tools, a con-artist is even better.

Which gives credence to this whole premise. Ones ability to craft a good sales flyer (resume) does not reveal the characteristics necessary for a productive employee.

Next: Applications for everyone!

1. The list is not comprehensive
2. I will not be able to stay on task (back to the ADHD non-professional diagnosis)
3. You don’t know anything about Leon or Justin